Bring Your Checkbook (but leave your rear at home)....
I am completely supportive of my friends working out how to make some money and bring their best self to this transitive thing we call life. But if I bought/contributed to everything I'm asked to...well, we would be broke in a New York minute.
Recently, in one day I was included in three events - none of which I was interested in "attending". I'm not an attender anyway - virtual or transported. I am much more comfortable with a great book, or even a mediocre one, or a non reality tv show, a little bit of knitting, maybe even a whiskey.
Ah, but I used to go to these things. They seemed like the socially acceptable way to place yourself into a group. You could meet people, and bond over such first world necessities as who needed a new gold-plated vegetable chopper or a monogrammed carryall bag or a crème promising to lift and move everything except your teenagers.
But now all of these 'bring your checkbook' events are VIRTUAL. OK, I don't have to leave my house (you got me there, you're right, I didn't really want to in the first place). I don't have to change out of my pajamas (a valid point - they are quite comfortable). BUT how do I meet people if I don't leave my house nor change out of my jammies?
And the thing is - for as much of a "not attender" as I am, I'm even more of a NOT A BUYER. I just don't have it in me. Sure, I can blame the fact that I have two kids in college at the same time, but that's really just a polite way of me trying to say no. I wear jeans, not leggings. Leggings are NOT attractive on my closing in on 60 years old rear end. I'm not much of a clothes person. Give me jeans, and an old ECU t-shirt, and I'm happy. When our sons chose Clemson I spent a day "shopping" in their rooms. They no longer needed the ECU hoodies, and t-shirts. I snagged a number of them that I happily wear. As for the makeup, I have never been a makeup girl. Not that there is anything wrong with that. All of you are beautiful women. But I am a combination of too lazy AND too cheap. If it takes more then one step or costs the price of a small microwave, I'm outta the running.
Finally (borrowing from the late, great George Carlin), I have WAY too much stuff in this house so home décor of any kind is not needed. When you have inherited STUFF, and been handed STUFF which was all added to the STUFF you have bought along the way at a certain point you start to realize - hey, I have too much STUFF. At that point you start thinking, what am I going to hand off to my kids when they need STUFF? What you don't start thinking is - ohh, let me buy more STUFF....I'm sorta excited for my kids to get their own places. Not just because we'll get instant "raises" when they are off our family payroll, but also because I plan on jettisoning some STUFF their way. Not sure how their future significant others will feel about this, but real sure that I don't care.
The only reason I attended those 'bring your checkbook' parties in the past was to make new connections. Now that the virtual event has taken that away from me, and my physical presence is no longer necessary, I get invitations from all over creation. Without Star Trek's technology, I can't be buying makeup on Mars while exploring new kitchen items on the banks of the Amazon. So I say, no thank you. EXCEPT - then you feel bad. I mean, really, really bad. It's that whole 'saying No is unacceptable for a woman' guilt trip. Often it's somebody you really like doing the selling or maybe someone you would like to be closer to or worse yet, someone who has been there for you, and you feel an obligation. That makes it more difficult. I feel bad. I hate to feel bad. But still - I have to stay firm. Buying stuff I don't need or want will not be of any use in our retirement. Buying stuff I don't need or want will just be that much more stuff for our kids to have to get rid of when we're gone.
Age has allowed me more freedom to just say no. But it still twinges. But no, it must be no...did I mention I have two kids in college...cause I mean, I love y'all, but I can't...I mean no, really I do........but do send me an invite to like your Facebook page, cause if you like ours, I'll like yours.
Recently, in one day I was included in three events - none of which I was interested in "attending". I'm not an attender anyway - virtual or transported. I am much more comfortable with a great book, or even a mediocre one, or a non reality tv show, a little bit of knitting, maybe even a whiskey.
Ah, but I used to go to these things. They seemed like the socially acceptable way to place yourself into a group. You could meet people, and bond over such first world necessities as who needed a new gold-plated vegetable chopper or a monogrammed carryall bag or a crème promising to lift and move everything except your teenagers.
But now all of these 'bring your checkbook' events are VIRTUAL. OK, I don't have to leave my house (you got me there, you're right, I didn't really want to in the first place). I don't have to change out of my pajamas (a valid point - they are quite comfortable). BUT how do I meet people if I don't leave my house nor change out of my jammies?
And the thing is - for as much of a "not attender" as I am, I'm even more of a NOT A BUYER. I just don't have it in me. Sure, I can blame the fact that I have two kids in college at the same time, but that's really just a polite way of me trying to say no. I wear jeans, not leggings. Leggings are NOT attractive on my closing in on 60 years old rear end. I'm not much of a clothes person. Give me jeans, and an old ECU t-shirt, and I'm happy. When our sons chose Clemson I spent a day "shopping" in their rooms. They no longer needed the ECU hoodies, and t-shirts. I snagged a number of them that I happily wear. As for the makeup, I have never been a makeup girl. Not that there is anything wrong with that. All of you are beautiful women. But I am a combination of too lazy AND too cheap. If it takes more then one step or costs the price of a small microwave, I'm outta the running.
Finally (borrowing from the late, great George Carlin), I have WAY too much stuff in this house so home décor of any kind is not needed. When you have inherited STUFF, and been handed STUFF which was all added to the STUFF you have bought along the way at a certain point you start to realize - hey, I have too much STUFF. At that point you start thinking, what am I going to hand off to my kids when they need STUFF? What you don't start thinking is - ohh, let me buy more STUFF....I'm sorta excited for my kids to get their own places. Not just because we'll get instant "raises" when they are off our family payroll, but also because I plan on jettisoning some STUFF their way. Not sure how their future significant others will feel about this, but real sure that I don't care.
The only reason I attended those 'bring your checkbook' parties in the past was to make new connections. Now that the virtual event has taken that away from me, and my physical presence is no longer necessary, I get invitations from all over creation. Without Star Trek's technology, I can't be buying makeup on Mars while exploring new kitchen items on the banks of the Amazon. So I say, no thank you. EXCEPT - then you feel bad. I mean, really, really bad. It's that whole 'saying No is unacceptable for a woman' guilt trip. Often it's somebody you really like doing the selling or maybe someone you would like to be closer to or worse yet, someone who has been there for you, and you feel an obligation. That makes it more difficult. I feel bad. I hate to feel bad. But still - I have to stay firm. Buying stuff I don't need or want will not be of any use in our retirement. Buying stuff I don't need or want will just be that much more stuff for our kids to have to get rid of when we're gone.
Age has allowed me more freedom to just say no. But it still twinges. But no, it must be no...did I mention I have two kids in college...cause I mean, I love y'all, but I can't...I mean no, really I do........but do send me an invite to like your Facebook page, cause if you like ours, I'll like yours.
I think you already "like" my business page and I like the blog ;) I always say no now, I didn't when I was seeing purpose behind my purchases but Stephen would kill me if I brought a new bag/tote into the house. I am not at all impressed with the quality of the "legging" company and I always feel obligated when I am at a party. Wooooheee that company that sells miracle cleaning products (and the CEO is an amazing human being) brought me to my knees. I was in a situation where I felt I had to buy and had noooo clue how expensive a cleaning cloth and paste would be!! I love the virtual ones because I can click no without any guilt. It's the same reason I loved when our school system went to a computerized system for substitutes. So much easier to tell a computer no at 6:00 in the morning than a teacher that you can tell has been up all night heaving. Saying all that I do buy from handmade shops because I love to support local and small businesses anywhere and well because I can't expect people to support me if I don't ;) I also buy from my niece who sells Noonday jewelry, I love her, I Iove jewelry and I love that it empowers women in struggling companies all over the world. Enjoy your wine while in your pajama pants and ECU tshirt but ya know.....if you ever need a gift or something personalized I'm your gal :)
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