A Rose By Any Other Name...
Just shoot me down now. Apparently I'm a sinner of the worst kind. I am a woman, who has hyphenated her last name. Forgive me my transgression for honoring my husband's family and mine. I will wear my scarlet letter now, but do I put W-H on my shirts for Woman Hyphenator or just the H? I'm so confused. Geez, the British have done it for ages, but a girl from North Carolina, born and bred, I guess I crossed a line much worse than The Mason-Dixon line. Sorry, I didn't mean to hyphenate again, but after 33 years of being an Alford-Carman, it comes easy to me, scarlet woman that I am.
Long story short, my husband and I discussed my hyphenation pathology prior to marriage. The man was totally cool with it, having two sisters and an absolute loving respect for his own mother. With our children, we followed tradition, lest we resort to calling everyone "Hey you!" after two generations of hyphenating. I mean, imagine roll call, or attendance with "Maria Alford-Carman-Symthe-Paddington-Stravinski-Pavoroti?" Nope, I would never do that to my children. Heck, I get confused calling my kids, and I just have two. If I can't keep that straight, how the heck would I follow with the other?
There have been so many situations where my name was center stage, instead of what should have been. Good gracious! When doing paperwork to purchase a car, a salesman actually told me I was a sinner, and The Bible stated that I should take my husbands name and he would not do the paperwork with my legal name, even though it was on my social security card and drivers license. He quoted Ephesians 5:23 which states, "The husband shares his name with his wife." I told him I was sharing my husbands name, with mine. No Bueno, and I didn't buy the car.
Once, while registering for a medical procedure, I was told. "Nope, your name is too long, it has to be the way it is on your driver's license." I showed my license, and the registrar's following huffing and puffing had me searching for the nearest defibrillator. It has been said that what I've done isn't legal (Not true.), that it was a disservice to my husband, and that I must be one of those crazy feminists. I must have really slipped down the moral ladder, and need guidance from those who don't know me. After all, I get all my life changing decisions after careful talk with random people who have no idea who I really am, don't you?
There have been times when hyphenation wasn't the issue because some individuals (Ahem...men.)have put paperwork in my husbands name when I was clearly the one in front of them footing the bill, and doing the paperwork. When we had a new roof installed, I asked the salesman if he could change the paperwork into my name, as I was point of contact and would be paying the bill. He actually told me he would have to start the paperwork all over again on his laptop. I really loved the shade his face turned when I told him, "That's okay. I've got time."
I really don't mind so much that there are those who don't like my name, it's more about the fact that they believe my name defines me. My name doesn't define me, I define my name. I was graced to be born an Alford, and blessed to marry into the Carman family. We are two individuals, from two different families, raising our children together as one and that's an awesome life to lead, regardless of the name.
Long story short, my husband and I discussed my hyphenation pathology prior to marriage. The man was totally cool with it, having two sisters and an absolute loving respect for his own mother. With our children, we followed tradition, lest we resort to calling everyone "Hey you!" after two generations of hyphenating. I mean, imagine roll call, or attendance with "Maria Alford-Carman-Symthe-Paddington-Stravinski-Pavoroti?" Nope, I would never do that to my children. Heck, I get confused calling my kids, and I just have two. If I can't keep that straight, how the heck would I follow with the other?
There have been so many situations where my name was center stage, instead of what should have been. Good gracious! When doing paperwork to purchase a car, a salesman actually told me I was a sinner, and The Bible stated that I should take my husbands name and he would not do the paperwork with my legal name, even though it was on my social security card and drivers license. He quoted Ephesians 5:23 which states, "The husband shares his name with his wife." I told him I was sharing my husbands name, with mine. No Bueno, and I didn't buy the car.
Once, while registering for a medical procedure, I was told. "Nope, your name is too long, it has to be the way it is on your driver's license." I showed my license, and the registrar's following huffing and puffing had me searching for the nearest defibrillator. It has been said that what I've done isn't legal (Not true.), that it was a disservice to my husband, and that I must be one of those crazy feminists. I must have really slipped down the moral ladder, and need guidance from those who don't know me. After all, I get all my life changing decisions after careful talk with random people who have no idea who I really am, don't you?
There have been times when hyphenation wasn't the issue because some individuals (Ahem...men.)have put paperwork in my husbands name when I was clearly the one in front of them footing the bill, and doing the paperwork. When we had a new roof installed, I asked the salesman if he could change the paperwork into my name, as I was point of contact and would be paying the bill. He actually told me he would have to start the paperwork all over again on his laptop. I really loved the shade his face turned when I told him, "That's okay. I've got time."
I really don't mind so much that there are those who don't like my name, it's more about the fact that they believe my name defines me. My name doesn't define me, I define my name. I was graced to be born an Alford, and blessed to marry into the Carman family. We are two individuals, from two different families, raising our children together as one and that's an awesome life to lead, regardless of the name.
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