The Playlist and the Case of the Missing Yogurt

People lied to me about motherhood, and children. It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. It was all of that, and more. It didn’t go by “fast”. Their childhoods went by faster than a dead soap opera character can miraculously come back to life, faster than a politician can lie, faster than some caller can try to scam you in broken English.

Every time I hit a milestone and get all verklempt over my miracles growing up, another mile marker hits me over the head.

Early this morning I was working on my laptop and listening to my motherhood playlist.

Now honestly, I’m pretty busy these days. But time expands and contracts all on its own rules. And motherhood taught me this if nothing else – grab, reach, expand, and don’t hesitate. Because your miracles will walk away all on their own, and you want them to do just that. Even if it makes you cry.

So, here’s my playlist, and why those songs made the list, and at the end, I’ll explain about the yogurt.

“Mama” LunchMoney Lewis – you need to like a little rap, but it’s so fun. “She taught me respect, and I’m thankful for that.” “Taught me how to put on my pajamas”

“Candle on the Water”, Helen Reddy – this song was on a Disney CD. Our oldest had colic, and I must have sung this a million times while walking him. “I’ll be your candle on the water. My love for you will always burn.” Oh, to have Helen Reddy’s voice.

“Beautiful Boy”, John Lennon & Yoko Ono – But, of course. The whole song. “I can hardly wait. To see you come of age.” Turns out I could have waited…

“Gone Daddy Gone”, Gnarls Barkley – not a single thing to do with motherhood, except I was cool enough to listen to it with my kids…

“Lost Stars”, Adam Levine – “take my hand, see where we wake up tomorrow”, “God, tell us the reason, youth is wasted on the young”

“Mr. Brightside”, The Killers – “coming out of my cage, and I’ve been doing just fine” “I just can’t look, it’s killing me”, and they played this at the Clemson games that my sons so loved going to while they were in college. So I felt connected…

“Homeward Bound”, Simon and Garfunkel – we played their greatest hits so many times. My youngest son and I went to see Paul Simon in concert. Just the two of us. “Home. Where my thoughts escaping” I hope we are always home. I also hope we are not.

“My Little Town”, Simon and Garfunkel – might have mentioned how much we love them. “In my little town, I grew up believing, God keeps His eye on us all.”

“Lonely People”, America – so having older parents has obviously meant that our sons know a lot of older music. “Don’t give up until you drink from the silver cup.”

“My Eyes Adored You”, Jersey Boys – actually not what you are thinking. We saw Jersey Boys on Broadway. So fond memories of how much they adored the music.

“Precious and Few”, Climax – yeah, pretty self-explanatory. “And if I can’t find my way back home, it just wouldn’t be fair.”

“Traveller”, Chris Stapleton – “I see the sunrise. Creeping in.” “I’m just a traveler on this earth. Shove my heart behind the pocket of my shirt.” Got to have a touch of our roots in here. I mean, what’s a good cry without something that reminds you of where you are from?

“Carry on My Wayward Son”, Kansas – “Carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don’t you cry no more”. I mean, seriously, more perfect words for a lullaby have never been written. And I totally used it that way when they were babies. “Once I rose above the noise, and confusion”

“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”, Marvin Gaye, and Tammi Terrell – “Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low, ain’t no river wide enough, baby. If you need me, call me. Just call my name.” A mother’s plea, lament, and promise.

“A Song for Mama”, Boyz II Men – “You’re the driving force in my life” Don’t we all hope our children believe the words in this song?

“Looking for Space”, John Denver – “Sometimes I fly like an eagle. And sometimes I’m deep in despair.” Now, that’s motherhood. But also we are trying to help our children with this: “And I’m looking for space, and to find out who I am”

So when they move on, and hopefully they will, we need to embrace that, and find the sweet spot. I went to the refrigerator this morning. I had one last blueberry yogurt, some bacon, and some fruit that was counting on for my breakfast. I shouldn’t have counted on it. The yogurt, and the bacon were gone. And when they move out for good – which is very soon - my yogurt and my bacon will stay put. Because my children shouldn’t stay put, even as much as I might have wanted them to.