Scammers Unite - Have We Got a Flight for YOU!!

I'm considering a Go Fund Me campaign. All funds raised will go towards an email and phone call deluge flooding the inboxes and phones of scammers and telemarketers. But the offer of a flight will be sincere. I hear Antarctica is lovely this time of year. If the ice caps are melting, hopefully they can swim. Or not, at this point I really don't care.

I'm tired of this crap. So, so tired of not being able to blindly answer the phones WE ARE PAYING FOR with a sweet, pleasant voice. When the phone rings I look at caller ID. Every. SINGLE. Time. No longer can you answer a call which appears to have originated locally. They "spoof" local numbers. They "spoof" the caller ID to show hospitals, the IRS, the police. My mother frequently gets one which shows as the caller ID - CANCER in big, scary capital letters. Who among us doesn't have a visceral reaction to that word?

I have resorted to setting up individual ring tones for a number of family and friends. Some even got to choose their ringtones. Which explains why our older son has the Rolling Stones, Sympathy for the Devil. It is not a motherly statement about the kid. He's a nice guy. He just loves the song.

But my default ringtone is Star Wars Imperial March. It embodies the sense of dread I feel when my phone rings. If you are not in my contact list, you will march onto my voicemail. After the call has finished, I find three results and choose my response accordingly. No voicemail results in no return call. If you couldn't leave me a voicemail and you aren't my mother (who has her own ringtone - a recording of my sweet, late grandmother playing a hymn on her harmonica, and I run a fast quarter mile diving for my phone when I hear her ringtone), then you do not deserve a return call. Secondly, a voicemail left which consolidates your status on the universal scum list. These voicemails are often a recording either threatening or cajoling in tone and always insisting that I must return the call to avoid either my computer devices running away with the fork and the spoon to the moon unless they fix it for me OR to avoid jail or prosecution (often said as "persecution") for some unknown offenses that unless you were standing behind me at the grocery store to witness me quietly sneaking out of the cart some crap my husband put in it, I'm pretty dang sure I'm not guilty. Finally, a legitimate voicemail which will be returned. Irritating since this often means I've just missed the return call I needed.

I'm not guilty, but these callers and emailers ARE GUILTY AND DEVIOUS AND DEVOID OF ETHICS.

Two personal stories regarding calls, and two of their schemes that deserve a shove out of a plane over a melting ice cap. A few years back I received a call from the area code of my hometown. Now as mentioned, I don't normally answer unknown numbers, but a close relative was in the hospital in that area code so I grabbed it. I was treated to call from the 'Treasury Service Department of the Internal Revenue Department' or something similar. I don't remember the exact title. I do remember it was oh so wrong. I was being threatened with persecution and immediate arrest over my tax return. Dude, that ain't the way this works. When my late father first started showing symptoms of dementia he prepared their taxes wrong. He knew something didn't feel right, and asked me to look over it. It took several months to get it straightened out as the IRS redid his taxes and their version was also wrong. And not one single time did they call us. We received letters, and I sent back letters and an amended set of returns. All phone calls were initiated on my end. And the entire process was professionally handled on both sides. No one threatened to show up here and lead me off in handcuffs as this jerk did. I had a lot of stress at the time of this call with loved ones sick and passing away which only partially explains my lack of filter, but here is the conversation:
Scum - you will be jailed, we are trying to help you. You did your taxes wrong. Your responding to my instructions can help you.
Me- Really? Because I have a PTIN.
Scum - I do not know what that is. You are in trouble.
Me- Preparer Tax Identification Number issued by THE IRS after review of credentials and background.
Scum - {pauses} I do not believe you.
Me - {laughing hysterically} Tough shit. Thanks for the stress relief.
Scum - hangs up

Second story involves my mother and another too common con they run. She received a call that one of her grandsons was in jail and needed money immediately. Thankfully, Momma is a pretty sharp cookie, but also she worked for the Department of Corrections for decades. She knows how this works. So she played with them. She told the jerk that she didn't believe him. She asked to speak to the jail supervisor. A second man was put on the phone insisting that she had to go get money to get her grandson out, and they were doing her a favor and trying to help. Finally she told them to go to hell and hung up (see where I get it from??).

But every day someone is snared into giving their hard earned money to these scum.  I hear the word "stupid" thrown around. But as someone who dealt with an aging parent with dementia, I know that these scum are targeting the more vulnerable of us. The number of calls and emails we receive here have gone up as we have gone up in age. This despite our best efforts to not give out our number anywhere, and every number is registered to the DO NOT CALL registry. These scum are most interested in the more naive and the most vulnerable among us. The ability to search online and find your age, address and phone number should not exist.

Just this week our younger son called me from college. He had received a call about the car warranty expiring. Along with all the lectures I gave out on sex, drugs, and alcohol, I had also warned both sons to never answer a call from someone you didn't know (along with friend and follow requests). So he hadn't answered it, but they left a voicemail. The car warranty is expiring soon, and he needs to take immediate action or the car will break down. I asked him if they used his name and did they say what make and model the car is, and the answer was no to both. Then I pointed out to him that the car is titled in my husband's name and serviced at the local dealership who also does not have our son's name. Additionally, and most importantly, the car is six years old. Ain't no warranty on it to begin with. He did the right thing. But who did these scum catch?

I know there are so many serious issues in every election, but if someone could come up with a plan that works (and it definitely is NOT the DO NOT CALL Registry), I would be tempted to vote for them. But relying on politicians to fix the problem is another version of insanity - repeating the same actions again and again while expecting a different result. So hey, who wants to help me fund some flights to Antarctica?