A Tale of Two Proms
By Evelyn Cooper and Mary Alford-Carman
The following presents two prom perspectives - the mother of a daughter, and the mother of a son, on that scary day known as PROM DAY.
"For the love of Mike! You need to get up! It's eight in the morning and we have half an hour to get you to the salon for a main/pedi! You've been hitting snooze for an hour. Where are my keys, get your purse! Let's go!"
"Yeah, he's sleeping. Let's go get some breakfast. Cracker Barrel?"
Ten in the morning and yes, we're still getting the nails done. Mid-way the daughter unit decides the color scheme is just too much and must be changed to a French manicure. Mama is shooting freeze, dried Folgers. Because, ya know, caffeine.
"Wow, you're up? Gonna eat anything decent or just sticking with that leftover bag of Halloween candy? Who is that? Manchester United? Thought you were an Everton fan? Oh, ok. We're headed to CVS for some vitamins for your Daddy. Do you need a new stick of deodorant? Be back in a bit."
Finally it's 12 noon and shoes, purse, decorative hair pins and dress are laid out while my baby girl is in the shower. Nicked her leg while shaving, the world is coming to an end. Mama rushes out to the drug store to get the flesh tone bandages. Mama's delivery service never ends, but the warranty on my tires will.
"Zaxby's or last nights leftovers? Zaxby's it is."
One in the afternoon, we're squealing tires into the parking lot of the hair dressers. Out comes the curling iron, the mega-ton-destroy-the-ozone hair spray and five hundred decorative hair pins that were bought after searching fifty stores. It's a fortune in faux pearls and crystal beading. Life is so shiny.
"Hey, what time are you supposed to be at her house? And where are we taking pictures at? Why in the world are we going over there? What was wrong with the close by locations from last year? Yes, I get that you're not in charge." First moment of concern - "No, I don't know where your belt is. Didn't you bring it back from Clemson with your dress clothes?" Yells at other son - "go look in the car and see if the belt fell off the hanger when y'all brought back home your dress clothes." No belt. "No, you can't wear your Daddy's belt. You don't have a stomach. He does. Look the vest covers the belt loops anyway. The waistline was nipped. The pants look fine. Go without one."
In a whoosh it all becomes frantic. Arrival time is looming. "What do you mean everyone is coming here to meet up? I better take a shower. Yes, you can borrow my Channel No 5, no you can't get it now, I'm in the shower! What do you mean you don't like the earrings you had me buy for your gown because they matched so perfectly? Here, try my pearl earrings. Yes, you're right, the first earrings looked better. No, you can't pull the gown on over your head! That hairdo cost fifty dollars, STEP into the gown! You have to take off your high heels first!
Oh no! The doorbell! Daddy will get it. Yes, I told him not to scare your date!"
"Got directions? Yes, I understand how Google Maps works. We're gonna be late. Need any cash? Here's some. Are we ready? Hey, we're going out to eat with your girlfriend's parents after pictures. Which baby pictures should I show them? Just kidding - about the pictures. Let's go."
It's 3:30, are all of the couples and their parents here now? Sure, I have coffee. Cream. Soda. Yes, I'll help you with your boutonniere. You need help too, and you? Form a line. Okay, time to go to the entrance for the photos! Watch your dress when you get in the car. Yes, I have the purse."
Husband pulls up in front of son's girlfriend's house. Husband announces he forgot to go potty. I assure him that there will be restrooms inside their home. We head inside. She's not dressed. Husband heads back to our house to get my iPhone, and use the restroom. Fortunately they live around the corner so no biggie. He's back in plenty of time. A few quick pictures. Parents moan over picture location being so far away. Everyone heads out.
"How many poses do they need? Why are they making the girls blow at glitter in their hands? Oh, lovely photo! You do know to call me if anything happens. Don't drink, don't let anyone drive drunk. Oh yeah, you all hired a limo. Have a good time. Make sure he treats you right. Do you have everything you need. I love you. Be safe. Doesn't she look beautiful honey? Yes, I thought the photo with you holding the shot gun was crazy. No, I am not getting misty eyed. I'm not. Where did I put the Jack Daniels?"
No idea what's going on, honey. So stop asking me. Let's just follow. Look he took off his eyeglasses when his girlfriend asked. He never takes them off for a picture when I ask. Sigh. Drive careful!! If you need me....voice trails off.
The following presents two prom perspectives - the mother of a daughter, and the mother of a son, on that scary day known as PROM DAY.
"For the love of Mike! You need to get up! It's eight in the morning and we have half an hour to get you to the salon for a main/pedi! You've been hitting snooze for an hour. Where are my keys, get your purse! Let's go!"
"Yeah, he's sleeping. Let's go get some breakfast. Cracker Barrel?"
Ten in the morning and yes, we're still getting the nails done. Mid-way the daughter unit decides the color scheme is just too much and must be changed to a French manicure. Mama is shooting freeze, dried Folgers. Because, ya know, caffeine.
"Wow, you're up? Gonna eat anything decent or just sticking with that leftover bag of Halloween candy? Who is that? Manchester United? Thought you were an Everton fan? Oh, ok. We're headed to CVS for some vitamins for your Daddy. Do you need a new stick of deodorant? Be back in a bit."
Finally it's 12 noon and shoes, purse, decorative hair pins and dress are laid out while my baby girl is in the shower. Nicked her leg while shaving, the world is coming to an end. Mama rushes out to the drug store to get the flesh tone bandages. Mama's delivery service never ends, but the warranty on my tires will.
"Zaxby's or last nights leftovers? Zaxby's it is."
One in the afternoon, we're squealing tires into the parking lot of the hair dressers. Out comes the curling iron, the mega-ton-destroy-the-ozone hair spray and five hundred decorative hair pins that were bought after searching fifty stores. It's a fortune in faux pearls and crystal beading. Life is so shiny.
"Hey, what time are you supposed to be at her house? And where are we taking pictures at? Why in the world are we going over there? What was wrong with the close by locations from last year? Yes, I get that you're not in charge." First moment of concern - "No, I don't know where your belt is. Didn't you bring it back from Clemson with your dress clothes?" Yells at other son - "go look in the car and see if the belt fell off the hanger when y'all brought back home your dress clothes." No belt. "No, you can't wear your Daddy's belt. You don't have a stomach. He does. Look the vest covers the belt loops anyway. The waistline was nipped. The pants look fine. Go without one."
In a whoosh it all becomes frantic. Arrival time is looming. "What do you mean everyone is coming here to meet up? I better take a shower. Yes, you can borrow my Channel No 5, no you can't get it now, I'm in the shower! What do you mean you don't like the earrings you had me buy for your gown because they matched so perfectly? Here, try my pearl earrings. Yes, you're right, the first earrings looked better. No, you can't pull the gown on over your head! That hairdo cost fifty dollars, STEP into the gown! You have to take off your high heels first!
Oh no! The doorbell! Daddy will get it. Yes, I told him not to scare your date!"
"Got directions? Yes, I understand how Google Maps works. We're gonna be late. Need any cash? Here's some. Are we ready? Hey, we're going out to eat with your girlfriend's parents after pictures. Which baby pictures should I show them? Just kidding - about the pictures. Let's go."
It's 3:30, are all of the couples and their parents here now? Sure, I have coffee. Cream. Soda. Yes, I'll help you with your boutonniere. You need help too, and you? Form a line. Okay, time to go to the entrance for the photos! Watch your dress when you get in the car. Yes, I have the purse."
Husband pulls up in front of son's girlfriend's house. Husband announces he forgot to go potty. I assure him that there will be restrooms inside their home. We head inside. She's not dressed. Husband heads back to our house to get my iPhone, and use the restroom. Fortunately they live around the corner so no biggie. He's back in plenty of time. A few quick pictures. Parents moan over picture location being so far away. Everyone heads out.
"How many poses do they need? Why are they making the girls blow at glitter in their hands? Oh, lovely photo! You do know to call me if anything happens. Don't drink, don't let anyone drive drunk. Oh yeah, you all hired a limo. Have a good time. Make sure he treats you right. Do you have everything you need. I love you. Be safe. Doesn't she look beautiful honey? Yes, I thought the photo with you holding the shot gun was crazy. No, I am not getting misty eyed. I'm not. Where did I put the Jack Daniels?"
No idea what's going on, honey. So stop asking me. Let's just follow. Look he took off his eyeglasses when his girlfriend asked. He never takes them off for a picture when I ask. Sigh. Drive careful!! If you need me....voice trails off.
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